Aggressively Passive

There were things I wanted to be. Places I wanted to go. Hopes, dreams...... life goals I used to have. But I’m just so tired all the time. By the time I get to my little cubicle/prison cell at the office....I sit down for 3 minutes and then I have to go get a coffee. I’m at my desk just long enough to turn on my computer and then I try to find a way to make it through the day without punching anyone in the face. This for me, is a challenge. I used to work for myself and now I work for other people, so the transition has been a little less than smooth. I really don’t care who forgot someone’s birthday or who left an order in the warehouse for two weeks without invoicing it. It’s amazing what becomes important when you spend everyday going to the same cubicle prison. As soon as my computer turns on I hear the door shut and I’m trapped there till 5pm with no chance of parole. I’d would like to openly admit that I am more than just a little passively aggressive. Don’t piss me off or I’ll bitch slap you three weeks later for no apparent reason. The office drones I work with have taken aggressive passiveness and turned it into a art form. I like to move peoples files around sometimes just to see what happens. I’ve created a chart of what pisses everyone off the most and once a week I get someone where they live. What I’m trying to do is wake people up. I want one of my little stunts to save someone. To bring them back to life, so they stand up on the top of there desks and piss on their computer as they swear that they quit and are never coming back. You know kinda like that priest from the Exorcist, I just want to help people release their inner demons into the universe. Keeping that stuff bottle up can really give you all kinda tumors. When it comes down to it we’re all lost. And no one is trying to find us. No one. I feel like I’m the only one that’s awake and I’m walking inside of everyone else’s nightmare. The only problem is that everyone accepts this nightmare as their real lives. I’m sort of like the inverse of Freddy Krueger. I want everyone else to wake up from their own personal nightmares. I’m worried that eventually I’ll fall asleep to. That I’ll get pissed off one day because someone forwarded me 12 emails from a different department. Okay, that’s annoying. I admit it. And I may also be the one that signed up a certain email forwarding whore to the 12 different Justin Bieber online fan clubs, with her work email address. There’s also a chance that I left a note with the IT department about improper use of an office email addresses that was clogging up our servers with Justin Bieber spam. Now that doesn’t make me aggressively passive, does it?