New Mistakes

My fresh start.....wasn’t so fresh. I can’t keep falling into old traps and making the same mistakes. At the very least I need to make new mistakes. Things go up and down and down and up but the trick is to say on course. To keep moving forward. It’s so easy to get distracted. I know where I want to go and I basically understand how to get there so....off I go. Looking back it’s easy to see where I went wrong. It’s easy to laugh at the old me. Thank god for that. At least I can laugh about it. I’m getting too old for mistakes. I should be closer to my goals by now. I should have more things.....or at least that’s what they tell me. I don’t need or want what they have so why does it matter. I have my mission, I have my life. I’m not following the same steps everyone else is taking....so to them I’m heading in the wrong direction. I’m making mistakes. What others consider to be my mistakes, I consider to be my greatest successes. I don’t know which me I want to be today but I know I don’t want to be you or anyone else. I’m willing to make new mistakes. I'm willing to run in the opposite direction of everyone else. I know who I am and I know what I want. When I grow up, I want to be me.

Fresh start

I need to Restart my mind. I need to let go of the numbness caused by repetition. When we were all in school starting over was easy. The new year began and it was an automatic do over. A clean slate. We started again and built our hopes and dreams for the new year. Lately I’ve been forgetting to dream. I wait in line for over priced coffee and think of nothing. I wonder when the work day will end and I forget to dream. I've forgotten to hope. Losing yourself is easy when you have no direction. I’m building a new path for myself. I new direction to run in. I live each day without goals or hopes or dreams. I feel like I’m just breathing and going through my days like a robot. Automated pilot is not a way to live. To stop all this I’ve created new projects to work on. New goals. New dreams. Of course my first new goal is to get new goals but even that is a start. I’m heading somewhere. I just haven’t figured out where somewhere is. It’s always easy to get where you going if you know where you want to go.