The ‘Not good enoughs’

I think I have a serious case of the ‘not good enoughs’. I’ve suffered from the ‘not good enoughs’ all my life. I’ve always wanted more. I’ve always need more. From me and from everyone. I want and need to accept myself as I am and I do. I really do accept myself for who I am. For the first time I care about myself and I love myself enough to be proud of who I am and what I do. It’s easy to fall back into old traps though. Old habits can follow you around, they hide in your shadow. When perfection is the only option, you will always fail. So many of the rules I live by are designed to set me up for disappointments. My disappointments drive me forward. But where is forward? Where am I going and is it where I want to go. I have to reinvent my thought processes. I have to let go of the past. I’m not good enough, your not good enough.....nothing is good enough....must be erased from my mind. A vital step to becoming who you are is acceptance. If nothing is good enough...you will never be able to accept who you are. You will never be able to care about yourself enough to move forward and grow. I want to grow and I want to be me. So I’m shaking off the ‘not good enoughs’ and becoming a stronger and heather me. It’s easy, really it is. I am who I am and that’s it. I don’t have to be perfect because no one is. It’s the lack of perfection that makes us human. I need to embrace my mistakes and take ownership of my silliness. My silliness and my mistakes make me who I am. Without my imperfections, without the parts of me I’m trying to get rid of or hide.......who would I be? I am my mistakes. I am my silliness. I am my 10 extra pounds. I am my early onset wrinkles. I am belly. I am slightly lazier eye. I am good enough. I am enough. And until I learn and accept that I am good enough, I can never become more than I am.

The Self-Esteem Workshops

Let the Self-Esteem Revolution begin!!! I’ve decided to go on a journey and I want you to come with me. I’ve spent my whole life thinking I wasn’t good enough. I’ve spent my whole life wondering how I could be perfect, how I could be more beautiful. I’ve never accepted myself for who I am, until now. I never want anyone else to go through what I have. Having a strong sense of Self-worth is not arrogance but an essential part of being a fully functional human being. Draw on the power inside you and make choices based on your goals; knowing that you can achieve anything you set your mind to. Anything is possible once we develop a sense of self-worth and a strong belief in ourselves.

Measuring Tape Girl will be going to schools in the local area and performing for 15 minutes. After the performance Measuring Tape Girl will be talking to the students about self-esteem and self-images issues. If you or anyone you know might be interested in having Measuring Tape Girl come to your school please contact measuringtapegirl@gmail.com or pmveltri@gmail.com

Oprah is God

For my whole life I’ve questioned a lot of things but I’ve never questioned the fact that Oprah is God. I grew up wanting to be Oprah. No, I didn’t want to be a talk show host. I wanted to be independent and strong. I wanted to become whoever I was going to be no matter what happened. Throughout my whole life, Oprah has been there. She was there when my Mom was watching TV when I was a kid. She watched me from a far during college and keep me at my best. Oprah always asks the tough questions and she is always there, watching me as I watched her. I know, you’ll think I’m crazy but Oprah is my guardian angel. My light, my hope. I’ve never doubted or question anything she has ever said. Her word is gospel. So, let Oprah say it, so let it be done. I found this video of her talking at the graduating class of Duke University and thanks to the internet I was there. Oprah was talking to me and she was talking to you. So many pieces of wisdom in this speech. So many truths. I cry every time I watch this. I am moved and inspired to grow with every one of her words. Some of you may not think that Oprah is God and you may be right but we should thank God because God made Oprah and gave her to us. Oprah, I Love you.

OPRAH GRADUATION SPEECH AT DUKE UNIVERSITY

http://www.oprah.com/world/Oprah-Winfreys-Duke-University-Graduation-Speech-Video/topic/world

I do believe in you

I do believe in you, now go and make me proud. What do you believe? Who do you believe in? Who do you support? Please let them know you support and believe in them and that you also support and believe in yourself. It makes a difference. It’s that last push we all need to keep going. According to wikipedia, Self Esteem is a term used in psychology to reflect a person's overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs (for example, "I am competent" or "I am incompetent") and emotions such as triumph, despair, pride and shame. A person's self-esteem may be reflected in their behaviour, such as in assertiveness, shyness, confidence or caution. Self-esteem can apply specifically to a particular dimension (for example, "I believe I am a good writer, and feel proud of that in particular") or have global extent (for example, "I believe I am a good person, and feel proud of myself in general") http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-esteem

What is self esteem to you? What is it about yourself that you are proud of? I know. This is hard. But really think about this. Make a list. Talk to your friends about this. You need to believe in yourself. You need to believe in the choices you make and take responsibility for them. This is an exercise that gets easier over time. Like any muscle in your body, Self-Esteem gets weakened if you don’t use it. Having a strong sense of Self-worth is not arrogance but an essential part of being a fully functional human being. Draw on the power inside you and make choices based on your goals; knowing that you can achieve anything you set your mind to. Anything is possible once we develop a sense of self-worth and a strong belief in ourselves. Who do you believe in? I believe in you, now go and make me proud.

“Open Happiness”

Personal branding is the new black. Your online presence...that is to say your online life will one day be more important than your real life. And if your under 30 it already is more important. I like to think of my blog and webpages as an online portal into my soul. Thanks to all this new technology I get to decide which one of my souls you get to see. Who am I? I don’t know? Maybe my blogging and twittering will help me figure out who I am. Maybe it will help me become who I’m suppose to be. I used to have hopes and dreams. I did. Somehow my hopes and dreams got lost along the way and they turned into regret. Regret is a bitch. I would rather spend my life failing to do what I love to do than to excel at something I don’t want to do. But like most people I’m trapped by my pay check. I trapped by my condo fees and car payments. My choice of life style has determined that I am not allowed to follow my dreams. Who is Measuring Tape Girl? What does her brand represent? I want my brand to be about self-acceptance, self-esteem and hope. There is a lot of growing I have to do before I can be true to my attempt at branding. I pretend to have accepted myself for who I am. I claim to be confident and full of hope but some days are better than others. If I have something to live up to, something to hope for then......well......at least that’s something. Maybe I can unlock my potential and become the me I want to be. If Coca-cola can “Open Happiness” then maybe I can “Unlock my Potential”. The main difference is that I’m not full of sugar, caffeine and false advertising. OKay. Maybe I am Coca-cola. I did have a lot of coffee this morning and I’m full of my own delusions but their is a difference. When I open my happiness, when I unlock my potential I will directly change someone’s life and give them hope. The life I will change is my own.

“Run, Baby, Run”

I’m still Running.......YEah!!!!!! No, really I am. Boot-camp was a bitch but I survived. I’m sore in places I didn’t know I could be sore in but I feel alive. I do. The haze in my brain has cleared. I’m not going to go nuts with this workout stuff but I’m going to keep at it. It’s been too long since I challenged myself. Too long since I was tired from actually doing something, instead of just being tired. Being Tired for no reason can become a bad habit. You wake up, go to work and then you sit down. You go to lunch and you sit down. It’s a never ending cycle of moving a few steps and then sitting down again. In just a few weeks I feel stronger and more awake all the time. It’s crazy. Endorphins are fun. They don’t come in tall, grande or venti but I still like them. I’m not exactly addicted to this Runners High but I could get used to it. Image living in a world where you can exceed you physical limitations but being more physical? Instead of being fueled by frappucinnos I’m now fueled by activity. Crazy I know. I’m tired of sitting down. I don’t want to be an office Zombie for the rest of my life. I have a plan, an emergency exit. I can’t give it all away now but don’t you worry my virtual friends......freedom is near. I plan to shuffle off this office coil that binds me to my sadness. I’m going to break free. I have freed my mind and now I’m getting the rest of me ready to create a new reality for myself where I can actually help others. Help them move away from self-hate and towards self-acceptance. It has been too long since I have challenged myself. Too long since I stood up and made a change. I’m getting ready. Getting ready for my very own person revolution. Revolution = evolution. Stand by. The evolution will not be televised.

Social Media Masturbation

I have grown tired of everyone’s and my own social media masturbation. When you’re done tweeting, facebooking, linking-in, youtubing and digging,.....how to you have time to actually interact with human beings in person? In my case I’m too shy to actually talk to people but that’s just me. Must we all broadcast our lives and pretend that having thousands of followers equals out to some kind of internet pseudo-fame? If everyone has hundreds of followers and everyone is broadcasting their lives, then doesn’t that change what fame actually is? Doesn’t that change your ability to actually keep track of things? Do we actually really know anyone anymore?

Social Media Masturbation is when you over promote yourself online, without adding any value to the social media network. Everyone one does it but some people only SMM. If we exist in networks where everyone is social media masturbating then what do we really get out of it. Hey, LOOK AT ME!!! Hey, Look at me...... only works so many times. Please tell me something new. Please share your thoughts and your feelings. Please help stop Social Media Masturbation. Please try to add value. Please try to share. I’m going to try to be true to myself and my self-deprecation. I’m also going to try to find a way to move passed my self-hate. One day I will be a real person and I won’t have to be Measuring Tape Girl anymore. I’ll have a real name and a real life. All I can do for now is try to share my truth with you. The truth of the matter is that a blog about Social Media Masturbation, is in itself a form of Social Media Masturbation.